Wait, what?

OnlyCans Is A Soft Drink-Based Video Game For Thirsty Gamers

What happens when you change the name of the popular sex worker site OnlyFans into a fizzy pop pun? And then turn it into a video game? You get OnlyCans: Thirst Date of course, a game where you can take raunchy photos of aluminium cans with underwear on. Wait, what?

onlycans game
Credit: OnlyCans Team

This photography based parody assigns you the role of photographer, taking sexy photos of various soft drinks. The result? A rhythm game turned dating sim that’s sure to leave you confused. There are 29 cans in OnlyCans, each with their own backstory and personality quirks. Seriously, we’re talking about a smutty soda-pop game. This actually exists. 

onlycans game
Credit: OnlyCans Team

Created by Sean “Oxy” Oxspring, this game is looking weird, wonderful and unique. Sure, it’s based on an obvious pun, but the result is something magical. Just imagine if your mum walked in on you playing this game. Imagine trying to explain yourself at a family intervention. The game can be downloaded via Oxspring’s itch.io account and is also coming to Steam.

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Here’s the game’s synopsis, which can be found on its Steam page:

Experience Cans! With this clicking based rhythm game, anyone can be an erotic can photographer. Click to ‘snap’ and ‘spray’ at just the right moments to get combos, high scores, and even feedback from our models. Progress from our base flavours to the more unconventional fan favourites, and learn more about the Shize™️ brand history while meeting some amazing, flirty, and outrageous cans along the way.”

The game is also receiving a ‘Hot & Steamy’ edition, which will be a Steam exclusive. OnlyCans is free to play, so there’s no need to feel guilty when watching Cherry Pop.

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YouTube video

In all seriousness, this game is sure to be a hit with YouTubers and streamers. Despite the game featuring softcore soft drinks, there’s no explicit content to be found in the experience (unless you genuinely have some sort of can fetish, no judgement here). 

OnlyCans: Thirst Date is out on Steam on 12th February 2021.

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Featured Image Credit: OxyOxspring